my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
