just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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