Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Damn victory sex feels great
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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