After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
