You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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