Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
