Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
This house was built for laser tag.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
