okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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