so explain again why im purple
no
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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