therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize