am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
