Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
