Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I could fuck to npr.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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