Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
