So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
