She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
