Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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