So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
