is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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