I smell stomach acid.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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