you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
