We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
the liver wants what the liver wants
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
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