And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
