belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
