erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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