he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
