How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
