oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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