can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
