question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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