Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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