No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
