no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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