What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
