As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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