I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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