She is in my trunk
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How naked do you want me to be?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
