Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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