it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
