what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize