I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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