They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
