i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
