His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Vodka?
Forever.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
