I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm really busy with my period
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