At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
