Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
