She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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