She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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