You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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