his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
