Need sex. Gaining weight.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
