We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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