Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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