Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
