Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
