anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
