Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
