she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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